The Political Pendulum

Dear Red States:

         If you manage to steal this election too, we’ve decided we’re
 leaving.  We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the
 other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware, that includes
 California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,
 Michigan, Illinois  and all the Northeast. We believe this split will
 be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new
 country of New California.

         To sum up briefly:

         You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
         We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

         We get the Statue of Liberty.
         You get Dollywood.
         We get Intel and Microsoft.
         You get WorldCom.

         We get  Harvard.
         You get Ole’ Miss.

         We get 85% of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs.
         You get Alabama.

         We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red
          states pay their fair share.

         Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the 
         Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families.
         You get a bunch of single moms.

 Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
 anti-war,  and we’re going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
 once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
 kids they’re apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
 purpose, and they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their
 children’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and
 hope that the WMDs turn up, but we’re not willing to spend our 
resources in Bush’s Quagmire.

 With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80%  of
 the country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce,
 92% of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95% of America’s quality wines, 90%
 of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and
 soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
 redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools 
plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

 With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope 
 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs),
 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the
 hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all
 televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the
 University of Georgia.

 We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

 Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
 actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re
 discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that
 evolution is only a theory, 53% believe that Saddam was involved in
 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher 
morals then we lefties.

 Finally, we’re taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
 they grow in Mexico

 Peace out,
 Blue States

Oh yeah, he gave nearly half a million sheckels to him!

The WaPo:

It turns out that McCain is treading on tricky ground when he cites the Khalidi case as an example of Obama consorting with terrorist sympathizers. The Obama campaign was quick to point out that an organization co-founded by Khalidi has received large sums of grant money from the International Republican Institute, chaired by McCain since 1993. One such grant was for $448,873 in 1998 to assist the Center for Palestine Research and Studies in its work in the West Bank

Sounds like he is doing McCain’s homework:

The WaPo:

The White House is working to enact a wide array of federal regulations, many of which would weaken government rules aimed at protecting consumers and the environment, before President Bush leaves office in January.

The new rules would be among the most controversial deregulatory steps of the Bush era and could be difficult for his successor to undo. Some would ease or lift constraints on private industry, including power plants, mines and farms.

Those and other regulations would help clear obstacles to some commercial ocean-fishing activities, ease controls on emissions of pollutants that contribute to global warming, relax drinking-water standards and lift a key restriction on mountaintop coal mining.

Once such rules take effect, they typically can be undone only through a laborious new regulatory proceeding, including lengthy periods of public comment, drafting and mandated reanalysis.



A local school district official confirmed after the event that of the 6,000 people estimated by the fire marshal to be in attendance this morning, more than 4,000 were bused in from schools in the area. The entire 2,500-student Defiance School District was in attendance, the official said, in addition to at least three other schools from neighboring districts, one of which sent 14 buses.

John McCain listens to cheers at a rally

The Politico

Barack Obama and John McCain are evenly matched in the swing states of North Carolina and Missouri, though Obama is strongly outpacing McCain in two of those states’ crucial battleground counties, according to new Politico/InsiderAdvantage polls.

In North Carolina, Obama and McCain were tied with 48 percent of the vote. Only 3 percent of voters in the state remain undecided. In Missouri, McCain led Obama 50 percent to 47 percent, an edge that was within the margin of error.


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